her ass is bruised. like, not just the ass. what's it called? the tailbone? that little hard part in the middle, right under the spine? yeah, that shit fucking hurts and she's really feeling it now as she's bouncing on her feet, hitting the bag over and over and over again as hard as she can. 

her knuckles are wrapped 'cause otherwise they'd be bleeding. white over bruised purple (which isn't abnormal, really; they're always in various mosaics of peppercorn). she sees flashes of gold in her vision as she hammers down again, but the brass was kicked under her bed last night. 

maisey's probably chewing on them right now. 

heads turn and the atmosphere shifts. nomi doesn't teleport in, like parker expects, and that makes the dread really settle into her cold, angry heart. 

stupid fucking dragon.

stupid fucking crystals.

stupid fucking avatars. 

stupid fucking caring. 

every poignant thought is enunciated with the slamming of her fists into the bag. spittle gathers at the corner of her mouth. her lungs swell and expel air in rapid succession, until her pink hair is matted over her forehead and sweat beads down her face. 

finally, when she's spent enough to take a break, she haphazardly tosses her towel over her shoulders, snags her water bottle, and shacks up right next to nomi. and stares hard at the ground, mouth a thin line.

Naomi Sato

☉

yeah, shit's fucked. it's fucked if nomi is sending karbonara away to make sure it doesn't 'put her on edge.' and she hates that too. that she's been such a bitch about the damn things that nomi can't even have the eyeballs she adores so much float around her in times of need. 

fuck, i'm a terrible girlfriend.

"fucking, that's not - " she starts angrily and then makes an aggravated sound in the back of her throat. the floor has had enough of her glaring. it's a wonder it hasn't turned to molten lava yet. still, it's at risk, so she stares straight up at the sandbag again. 

her spit is still on it. sweat and spit, still glistening. 

"you're the best godsdamned thing i got, nomes, and it fucking kills me. not that you ran off to isaac when i told ya not to. not that you put me in the one damn position i asked ya not to."

she looks to the side, pained, at nomi. "but that no matter what, i'm always gonna be second. i'm gonna come second to rocket. to saving the world. and more 'an that? you put your own fuckin' safety third.

"it's killing me."

Naomi Sato

☉

"and how are you so sure what you're doin' is gonna save us?" she says bitterly. maybe she's just not cut out for this. maybe she and nomi could work in a perfect world (or one so broken, all that's left is the two of them), but she's nothing here. nothing to nomi and sure as fuck nothing to the rest of the world. 

she's supposed to be nomi's bodyguard. not the other way around. 

"and what? so - so i'm just supposed to be okay with you doing whatever the fuck you want now 'cause you're an avatar? 'cause nothing can touch you? didn't rocket fuckin' rip that one-eyed councilman's avatarship out of his godsdamned head?"

parker jones

☉

looking at the ground helps keep her steady. it helps keep her angry. it's hard enough to hear nomi's voice start to get thick, sinuses swelling as tears rim her lower lashes. doesn't help that parker can picture the pain though. she's good at that. picturing faces in pain. 

gods knows she's stared into enough of them.

"i'm not mad you love them," she says flatly and the narrowing of her eyes betrays her. i'm mad you love them more. 

and telling her she knows she can be killed makes it worse. she's still going out and risking her life - their life. she shrugs forward, puts her head in her hands, fingers spreading through pink locks. 

"ya don't need me. not to protect you, nomes. and not to help ya through all this, evidently. 'cause you've got isaac. and fuckin' rocket. i mean - are you gonna tell me where you've been goin'? when you're not in your office? think i don't notice when you're not telling me something?"

and how she knows how to read this woman like the back of her hand is insane. it doesn't feel like they've only been together for six months.

"i can't be your puppy dog, waiting for you to come home."

Naomi Sato

☉

one day, she'll get used to feeling useless. fuck, she's felt useless ever since she let avery jones down. it was too much to expect of a kid her age, but she was the eldest. their parents were shit and she was the eldest and it was her job to make sure shit kept together. that they stayed together. 

and they did, in the end, but that's only 'cause they lost everything. the house. their parents. she signed to rocket to keep them together, to keep avery out of the shitstorm, but you can't control storms. unless you're a god.

and the jones don't get to make pacts with divinity.

"if i can't protect you, then what the fuck do you need me for, nomi?" she snaps. 

she bristles. 

you knew, she tells herself. you knew it the whole time. you knew it deep fucking down.

she wished it wasn't true.

her hands come down hard on either side of her, shoving her back up, filling her with a heat that she could never, ever get rid of. no matter how many hours. no matter how much pain, that insidious fucking fury lives on, and it runs rampant through her blood and in her eyes right now. 

whoever'd been eavesdropping turns away in full or skedaddles as parker roars. 

"you think rocket gives a flying FUCK if the world ends? you're playing god among power-hungry murderers. how long 'til they don't trust you? how long 'til the league starts seeing you less an asset and more a target?"

and that last bit, the final straw - i can take you to the strongest people i know, on the other side. they'll protect you.

"I. DON'T. NEED. PROTECTING!"

and softer, somehow angrier: "i don't want to lose you."

Naomi Sato

☉

parker gets too sentimental. she gets too into the women she wants. like yumi. like mags. like dav. like every fucking harlot who looks at her with a cheeky smile and a promise of another tomorrow. and sometimes, when nomi's fast asleep in her arms, she's wide fucking awake thinking, this can't be real. she can't want me like this. 

not when everyone else had some new and interesting way to basically say FUCK OFF and LEAVE ME ALONE. she's a good lay. she's not girlfriend material. it's not her, it's them. she's too desperate. she's too much. she's too stupid. she doesn't get it.

what the hell's an angel of god need with a shitstain like her? 

but nomi's undone without her and fuck being scared. fuck being too much. fuck her anger; she's got enough of it as it is and it's not worth it if it's gonna make her end up losing the one thing that doesn't make her angry (most of the time). 

she twists. she roughly grabs nomi by the hips, stares her down, nose to nose, and says, "i love you, nomi sato, and fuck it - you can piss off all the rest of the world and i'll be there by your side, fightin' 'em off for you. you're my end, whatever happens."

Naomi Sato

☉